In my last post, I showed y'all the teal toenails I'm currently rocking. I posted on the BW Facebook site, "I'm so butch that I can paint my toenails without threatening my butchness." I asked readers to complete the sentence, I'm so butch that _______. Here are some of their responses:
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Earlier this year, A Femme in NYC wrote How to Know if a Femme Likes You. I've been wanting to write a butch counterpart to her excellent list.
Many butches are shy. I'm one of them. Sure, some butches will march right up to you, tell you you're hot, and ask you out. Not me. And not most butches I know. Faced with a hot femme (or butch--God, hitting on another butch brings up a whole host of other issues...), our confidence sometimes melts, a cocky grin turning into a tentative smile. If the butch object of your affection is one of the shyer members of our species, her hints will be subtle. These clues apply to butches interested in anyone--femmes, androgynous folks, other butches, or anyone else: 15 Signs That a Butch Might Be Into You
Got it?? OMG, as I finish up this entry (and I'm totally not kidding), there are a butch and femme tentatively flirting at the coffee shop I'm sitting in. The femme just grabbed the butch's hand to emphasize something, and the butch held it back, just for a second, and blushed. Telltale sign. Then the butch was all like, "Oooh, you should come check out this community garden we have, six of us will be there tonight having a few beers, yada yada yada," and the femme was like, "I totally will." Well played, ladies. So what do you think of this list? What are some of our other "butch tells?" When I was first coming out, I thought that being gay would be a big huge pain in the neck. I expected to be stared at when I was out with a girlfriend, I thought my straight friends wouldn't feel close to me, and that I'd always feel excluded at straight weddings and baby showers (if I was even invited).
Some of these fears weren't entirely unfounded, but in my everyday life, the downsides of being queer were far smaller than I'd expected. Sure, there were a few lousy surprises (e.g., sometimes people stare, and the "convert a straight girl, get a toaster" thing turns out to be a total scam). But overall, being queer brought more good surprises than bad ones. One of these good surprises: kissing is fun! And just for the sake of kissing, not as requisite foreplay (who knew?). For another, I realized I love fashion. Liberated to wear what I want, I now love reading about fashion and shopping for myself and other people. My younger self (who broke out in hives just walking near Macy's) would never have believed this was possible. While I was thinking about the surprise perks of being gay, I posted a question on Facebook yesterday "What's the #1 SURPRISINGLY best thing about being gay?" I received over 50 answers and thought I'd share some:
What's been the best part of your day so far today? This weekend, my brother (who is straight but metro, and can wear pleated pants with uncommon flourish) announced to me that one of his cats has come out of the closet. My brother sent me the rainbow-infused picture at left (the gay one's perched on the dresser). I was proud of the cat, and would like to think that as its aunt, I played a role in its conversio --er -- realization. My brother and me then brainstormed other ways to identify LGBT pets: Top Signs that Your Pet Might Be Queer
Special thanks to my hilarious brother for coming up with about half of this list! Do any of you have gay pets? How do you know? Do you feel like your own queerness helped or hindered their realization process? |
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